Half serious L4D fanfiction
by Mazza35
Summary: A little fanfiction I made for my creative writing class I hope you enjoy it. I might make more chapters later :P


A helicopter flew above the streets 'To anyone who can hear this; proceed to Mercy Hospital for evacuation.'

'Why can't it just get us here?' Francis questioned angrily, 'Hey over here ya idiot!' He yelled as he fired at the helicopter. One bullet passed cleanly through the pilots head. The helicopter then proceeded to crash in a huge fireball.

'Well done you idiot!' Bill said as he smacked Francis over the head.

'Keep your beard on Bill! Francis responded, 'I hate helicopters.'

'Well, let's go to the hospital anyways. Maybe someone is there.' Louis suggested.

'Good idea' Zoey replied.

* * *

The group set off down the stairs; into the apartment building. Killing lots and lots of zombies whilst they ran but Zoey started to cry and mourn EVERYSINGLEFLIPPIN' zombie. So Louis shot her in the back of head, and then legged it.

* * *

They emerged from the building into the alleyway. They then proceeded with caution, walking slowly and making sure all zombies heads came off. Bill seamed to drink the blood of the zombies, much to Louis' disgust.

*Player Grizzly has joined the game*

Bill explains how in Vietnam he used to drink the blood of his enemies, as is it a good alternative to water.

'Bill, that is NOT an alternative to water!' Zoey scowled at Bill.

'Well, it worked back in 'Nam' Bill said as he lit up a cigarette.

'Wait! How the hell did you get here Zoey?' Louis questioned 'I killed you!'

'Oh that, the bot opened the door' Zoey answered, in a very manly voice

'Damn bots, with all their fail.' Bill shouted from afar. 'Come on, catch up!' He shouted as he set something on fire.

Zoey face palmed.

* * *

The group set forth, the came out from the alleyway onto a road, there was a Police car in front of them, a few pistols were laying upon it's hood.

'SECOND PISTOL!' Bill screamed as he ran forth and grabbed it, he was followed by Francis, when Francis got the pistol; he started firing up into the sky in celebration.

'I hate bullets,' He stated at near the same time a bullet fell down and landed in his skull, killing him.

'Well done you moron.' Bill scowled at the newly deceased corpse of Francis.

'FRANCIS, OH GOD NOT FRANCIS!' Zoey yelled in a very manly voice.

"He'll be back, in a closet, doing things…' Louis said to Zoey.

'Oh yeah' she responded, and stopped crying.

They all once again set off toward to subways, beside poor idiotic Francis.

* * *

'PILLS HERE!' Bill yelled, Louis ninjaed and stole them off him and poured them down his throat.

'Damn it Louis, don't be an ass.' Bill said with frustration.

Louis giggled whilst he ran away, he then ran wall and fell over.

'Shhh' Zoey said at the others 'Did you guys here that?'

They all stopped and listened.

A very faint voice came from one of the many closets. 'Hey, is anyone there? Help me out, I'm stuck in here!'

'Let's go check it out,' Louis said and he ran drunkenly toward to noise

'Hello? Is anyone is there?' Louis asked.

'Yeah, it's Francis, LET ME OUT!' The voice said

'How do we know you're not a zombie?' Bill shouted at the door.

'Zombies can't talk!' The voice shouted back, 'It's me, Francis.'

A fist came out of the door, forming a small hole upon which the survivors saw Francis' ugly face.

'Oh, hello there Francis,' Zoey said, mocking him, in a manly voice.

'Can't you open a god damned door?' Bill laughed at Francis.

'Screw you Bill, when I get out of here, I'm going to smash that beard right off your face!' Francis replied.

Bill just laughed, so Francis stuck his shotgun out the hole in the door and blew his face off. But Bills beard took the damage and was sent flying in bits everywhere.

'NOOOO, NOT BEARDY, ANYTHING BUT BEARDY!' Bill screamed in agony over his beards death.

* * *

They emerged from the small building, a few dozen zombies, and a flashing car was between them and their goal, the subway station. Louis eyes light up at the sight of a working car; he thought he should steal it. He voiced his idea toward the group. They all refused saying it wont start.

'You can't start that!' Francis said, 'besides, I only ride motorbikes, I hate cars'

'I can so do it!' Louis protested. He ran toward the car, jimmied the door, and by that I meant he blew off the lock and jumped inside the car, the pulled some wires from under the dashboard, and VROOM the car started. But at the same time it set off the alarm.

'Crap, crap, crap!' Louis yelled at his floored it, speeding off, smashing the fence over and making his escape.

'Damn it, okay everyone. RUN!' Zoey screamed as she ran for the station steps. The now beardless Bill and Francis followed her in haste. They just made into the safe room as over 9000 rushed around the corner. (And then the server crashed.)


End file.
